A Gift

So many are curious to know what occurs inside the human mind. Are people inherently good or evil? Philosophers have debated about the human psyche since man has had the ability to reflect on his own existence. Without asking for the gift to know, it was bestowed upon me in the crazy tumble of fate.

I know there was a time when people's thoughts did not buzz incessantly in my head, but I do not remember it. The sharpest memory is the pain of my change, but as soon as I could quench the burning the voices began. And on they drone. I have learned, over the years, to control the noise for the most part. Nearly a century after obtaining my acute hearing, I have learned to blend it into the background, and pull out what I want to hear until it is sharp in my mind.

It is an exceedingly valuable gift, but crippling at the same time. Even with decades of practice, I often turn my head when someone thinks my name. It is a reflex I have long tried to control, just as I have tried to keep the venom from burning my throat when a human gets too close. Both have proven futile. I can turn it down but not off. Silence is hard to come by.

Most thoughts are dull, uninteresting, mundane. Some are twisted and dark. Some vapid and brief. A very small amount are selfless and full of thought. It is a turnstile of sameness. Lust, love, money, errands, jobs, pets, children, meals. The human brain is occupied primarily with itself, able to turn inward much better than it can look outward. But there is some wonder in the sea of sickening sameness. There are some humans that hold so tight to their uniqueness - they cling to the idea that their thoughts are unique and that there is no other like them. As laughable as this thought is, they believe it so passionately that it endears them to me instantly. There is something innocent and beautiful about hoping that one is the diamond in the rough. I am drawn to these moments, these thoughts, these humans.

After all I've heard, I have no great insight into the human psyche. Some people are inherently good, and some are inherently evil. Some are born to love, and some born to fight. They are all human, and they are all capable of building their own pedestals and standing upon them. It is both beautiful and laughable. And I will be in awe and in laughter for all eternity - that is my gift.